June 23, 2009...1:21 AM

Growing up.

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I’m really starting to freak out about growing up. I make myself sound sure of what I want to be, what I want to do, but then I get these stupid thoughts of what if I never make it? I mean, probably 1/10 photographers will actually make something of themselves. I’m not ready for the competition. And there’s a 9/10 chance that I will be just one of those stingy budding photographers who never gets anywhere.

I need a backup plan. Interior designing is my second choice, but where can you get a job as an interior designer these days? By the time i’m ready to get out into the Big Bad World, no one will pay money for someone to make their house look nice if they can do it themselves. Everything just points to no anywhere I look.
And then what if I take the courses for photography or interior designing and I don’t get anywhere?

With my luck, everything will just go tits up.

*sighhhh*

And we all know what happens when I start freaking out about something. Maybe I’ll become the first person to actually implode.

I’m also thinking of starting a 365 photography project. That is, you take a photo every day for 365 days. Kinda like that thing on Georgia’s folder, except i’m way to poor to pay for 365 polaroids. I think i’ll start on July 1st. Hopefully, I’ll have enough memory on my camera’s card. Do you think i’ll be able to keep up with it? I think that the whole idea is completely charming and it might even make me  a little better at taking raw photos.I’ll be posting on my Flickr, because doing that on DeviantArt will give me the utter shits.

That reminds me; I hit the 50,000 view mark on dA the other day. *happy*

Anyway, i’ve been really sad ever since Ana lost her iPod. Possibly as sad as Ana. That iPod reminded me so much of mine, that it felt like I was losing it.

I really hope you find it, Ana!

Also, i’m very, very excited for this weekend. My little ol’ granny is coming down/across/south-east? from America and I can’t wait to see her! But, along side my utter joy of maybe actually knowing my grandmother, i’m very very sad for this weekend. I was also excited to stay at Tegan’s and her quaint little house. Next weekend, definately! (:

So, phew. I think this has been my longest so far. So, i’ll cut it off here. Goodnight! xo.
Also, Aladdin, ’cause he’s fuckin awesome! ♥

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